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OTHER POSSIBLE SPIRITUAL COMPLICATIONS
A woman’s
spirituality, faith or religious beliefs can impact on issues and
feelings relating to her abortion.
Often a woman instinctively reacts to an unwanted pregnancy resolving
her crisis by having an abortion, and she may not have time or the
opportunity to fully explore the possible impact of her decision. Often
the seemingly sound practical reasons for proceeding with an abortion,
outweigh spiritual or religious concerns when under pressure to make a
decision.
Many factors contribute to a woman’s spiritual experience and response
to her abortion: her sense of (or lack of a sense of) God and her
relationship with God, whatever she conceives God to be; her experiences
of traditional religion and religious teachings, which may have shaped
her beliefs and contributed to forming her spirituality, its nature and
depth, and her sense of morality.
Feelings are complicated if a woman believes she has contradicted the
will of God by aborting her baby, and deep hurt may open within her
heart and psyche. “Have I made a mistake?” “Will I be punished for this
decision?” are key questions a woman may ask herself as she deals with
the spiritual implications of what she has done. She can easily become
trapped in long-term fear, guilt and shame. Devoutly religious women
from denominations that ban abortion often fear they may struggle with
misgivings about their past abortions, whilst women who feel a less
rigid religious identification are sometimes amazed by their spiritual
or conscious discomfort afterwards.
A woman who terminates a pregnancy is usually aware of the ways in which
her religion regards abortion; she is also aware of how her family,
friends, and the members of her religious community (where applicable)
would view her decision in light of their own spiritual or religious
convictions. This however can seem of less concern than dealing with the
immediate problem of an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy and is
overridden by a need to get rid of the problem.
A woman’s sense of her relationship to her body and her ability to
create life is significant. For a woman to simultaneously view herself
as ‘creator’ and a ‘destroyer’ can generate confusion, a vital
questioning by her of her character, conflict in her moral convictions
and her identity as a spiritual person.(1)
Abortion is a life-death experience, and affects a woman at every level
of her being - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Dealing with
the loss of her baby, at the core of her being can be extremely painful,
and moving through grief can be difficult, especially if grief is denied.
If a woman perceives her abortion experience as traumatic, it may
overwhelm her normal coping mechanisms, leaving her feeling not only
psychologically but also spiritually wounded. Violence, or perceived
violence, traumatizes the body, mind and soul. When someone has been
traumatized, they may “lose their breath”. Recovery from trauma then is
also about recovery of the wounded spirit.(2)
Some symptoms of spiritual disease include feelings of fear, despair,
impatience, jealousy, disillusionment, emptiness, sadness, anxiety,
loneliness, bitterness, hopelessness, boredom, insecurity, irritation,
anger... Signs of spiritual dis-ease might include:
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indifference towards others or self-pity
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lessening of wonder and enthusiasm
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lessening of gentleness and courtesy, rudeness, teasing, sarcasm,
nagging
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bad humor, quarrels, quick temper
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chronic feelings of being used or misunderstood
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routine or mechanical communication
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taking advantage of others or taking others for granted
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pre-occupation with or neglect of self
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continuous escapes: do-gooding, overindulgence/misuse of food,
alcohol, sex
Women often express this ‘disquiet’ deep inside, often afraid and
unsure about what is happening, feeling disconnected, alone... and it
can seem like nothing quite makes sense anymore. There is a sense that
‘something is not right’ at the deepest level, indicating a sense of
separation from God or spiritual alienation. Guilt and shame can become
magnified and the desire to run or hide is a natural response.
Some women describe the feeling of being trapped in a dark place, filled
with pain and unspoken fear. A woman’s sense of self-worth decreases and
she can sometimes think she cannot possibly be forgiven for her part in
the death of her baby. This is usually an unconscious process, and
manifests in the physical and emotional symptoms and signs.
Self-judgement is often huge and self-forgiveness can be the biggest
obstacle.
Some of the spiritual work in dealing with the aftermath of an abortion
experience:
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breaking through denial and grieving
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discovering ‘how the trauma has affected me’ and ‘who I am now’
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overcoming guilt and shame
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understanding and resolving the spiritual and moral conflicts that
arise
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offering and receiving forgiveness and unconditional love
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finding self-acceptance within present spiritual beliefs or
redefining beliefs to include the reality of the abortion
The journey into darkness and isolation can, with appropriate
spiritual help lead into the intimacy of being known and the joy of
being healed.
“I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah
29:11)
REFERENCES:
1. The Healing Choice, Candace de Puy & Dana Dovitch, Hodder &
Stroughton, 1997
2. A Spirituality of Trauma, Joe Wardhaugh, FMSA., Human
Development Vol 21, No. 3, Fall 2000
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